The truth is I need to be sober. I'm sick of letting myself and the world down. However, I know I can't make the promise anymore. I don't want to be like, day one- day two- day three. It just kills me when I start over. Only thing I can say is for today- I got it. Maybe, I will tomorrow too. I feel good today and have since I started my meds. I just hope it stays, which it never does. When I dwell two much on sober/clean time- I fail in the end. The point is though. It's never the end. This is a fight. It’s a battle to keep ourselves alive. At 25 years old- it's time to face life. It’s time to see what I'm made of and who I am. Who knows? Maybe, just maybe, this time I'll do it. Only problem I see right now is Kate and my sister drinking around me at home. I’ll figure it out.